Last night I was up until 2130 writing a post about the best ever Disney film (take a look if you haven’t done so already) I could hear my husband snoring away, he had had an exhausting day being his beautiful self, it was peaceful but something didn’t feel right.
I didn’t want to look around in case there was an axe murderer or something standing there, or even a cat (more likely to be a cat). I don’t have any cats but at my previous house we used to get random cats just creeping up on us in our house, that’s normal right?
Anyway, I was pretty engrossed in my post, my fingers were tapping away viciously but I just couldn’t move past it. There was definitely something watching me. My considerations turned towards a spider, no, not at this time of night, I just wouldn’t be able to cope!
It was time for me to face whatever horrid creature lurked in my room. I had to be brave. I turned around and what the heck was standing there? It had hair, lots of hair. Big, crazy hair, big blue staring eyes, and teeth. Oh my life, the teeth. It wore a long nightgown, the flowy kind, and held a small ugly teddy that I could smell from where I sat (a few inches away might I add). It was my four-year old daughter.
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HECK???
Firstly, how on earth did she manage to creep down the stairs, open my huge door (which, might I add is a fire door) and creep 20 feet across the room without me spotting her. But at 5am she is stomping throughout the house with elephant style noise. I mean, what even is this? Who does she think she is?
When I ask her to be quiet in the mornings her response is ‘I’m trying. I am being quiet. This is me being quiet’. Well now I know the truth. Little Miss Stomper takes on a new form at night and becomes Little Miss Creepy.
This isn’t the first time it’s happened so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised but I jumped and might have sworn (its late, she was interrupting adult time and I thought she was sleeping so it’s totally okay)… I don’t really remember, all I remember is my heart taking a giant leap up into my throat and the thought that I might be meeting my maker.
I wish I could tell you how often I have woken up to her face directly in front of mine, breathing her dragon breath onto my skin, at 0430.
I could tell you about the time I woke up to a rustling under the bed. In fact I will tell you. I grabbed the nearest thing to me, which happened to be a book although I can’t remember which one and, thinking that it was one of those glorious, over-confident cats from the neighbourhood I went to give it a scare and chase it out of my house. I looked under the bed (believe me I was panicking and even considered handing my husband over as a sacrifice if it wasn’t a cat) only to find a small child, the same small child, with big blue eyes, a huge grin and worst of all a little gremlin voice to go with it ‘Surprise mummy, I’m awake’. I will never forget that day.
Am I the only one who has a silent creeper? Please tell me no….